iRetire4Him Show 71: Questions to Ask Before and During Retirement, Part 3

Intro: While retirement is generally seen as a time of relaxation and self focus, God calls us to love, serve, and help others for a lifetime. He has been preparing us for this retirement season, literally our entire lives. In retirement, countless Christians enter a state of spiritual dormancy not knowing how they are called to have an impact for God's kingdom.

The Retirement Reformation seeks to encourage and empower the 50 million Christians approaching or in retirement to embrace the calling. God has been preparing in them. When the world says it's time to stop, you can begin to have your greatest impact. Welcome to iRetire4Him, the mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation, where our goal is to journey from retirement to reformation. So you can say, iRetire4Him!

Jim: Reaching out to the 50 million Christ followers in America who are approaching or already in retirement. You've tuned into iRetire4Him, the mouthpiece for the Retirement Reformation - online RetirementReformation.org. I'm your host, Jim Brangenberg, and I'm joined today by the founder of The Retirement Reformation, Bruce Bruinsma. We invite you to check us out online RetirementReformation.org, and also on our Facebook page, just type in Retirement Reformation and you'll find us.

Retirement. The process of prepping for and entering into retirement is daunting, to say the least. There's so many possibilities and so many ways to get it right and so many ways to get it wrong. As we've said so many times in this podcast, many retirees know what they're retiring from, but very few, I mean, very few know what they're retiring to. How can you make sure you're prepared for what's ahead? Well, you need to ask yourself a lot of questions.

Bruce Bruinsma is here today to lend some advice as we conclude our three part series: questions for prepping for retirement. Today we're gonna focus on eight questions we must answer in order to build in flexibility to our plans as we head into retirement. Why? Because life is unpredictable. Bruce Bruinsma, welcome back to iRetire4Him.

Bruce: It's always good to be here and I, I always love to talk about the topics that, that how do we deal with the surprises of life? What are the things that we need to consider so that we are prepared? Not with the answers to a specific problem or a specific opportunity or a specific challenge, but whatever it is, the one that God's going to bring, that will be a learning experience for us as well as a teaching experience for others.

Jim: So if you were to entitle the title for today, what kind of questions are we asking today?

Bruce: The questions that we're asking today I think are foundational questions. Questions that lay the foundation so that as the unexpected challenges as well as in the next steps in a plan, whatever they may be, that in fact we are prepared to, we have the foundation upon which to build the answer.

We have the, the, the wisdom of God that can guide us in these unexpected times because it's in the unexpected that we find fear, we find failure, we find depression. We find all of those things. Yet when you are prepared foundationally to deal with those issues, it gives you the opportunity to put into play those fruits of the spirit that we talk about.

Jim: So you're saying we need to be foundationally prepared to be so solid in our ability to be flexible?

Bruce: Right. That's a, that's a great, almost sounds like an oxymoron.

Jim: Yeah, it almost does. So why do we need to be flexible in retirement? I mean, I thought that's what - retirement's all about the planning, isn't it?

Bruce: Well, it, it is certainly about a plan and it is God's plan. But when we interpret that it's, it's, what I find is that I'm often able to take the next step and then the next three steps after, something comes in that changes what those steps are, and invariably those steps are better than the ones that I planned for. But if I didn't have a plan in place, even one, to be able to change from I'm gonna miss the opportunities that the Holy Spirit has for me.

Jim: I like that. If I didn't have a plan initially, one in order to change from, I wouldn't have a basis to get started. I, I love that. Gotta have a plan. Plans may change. We need to be flexible, but you need to have a starting point.

All right, So these eight questions we're gonna deal with today, and we're gonna deal with 'em quickly today. What's the first question for today?

Bruce: So, how are you gonna handle your time? And in there, for example just very quickly you know, when are you gonna spend time each day with God? When are you gonna read your Bible? When are you gonna pray? When are you gonna spend time with your wife? When you're gonna spend time with your kids?, You're gonna spend time with leisure. How are you going to do that? And identifying what those are and their priorities, because all of those lead to foundational pieces to who you are and what God has planned for you to do so that you can be flexible.

Jim: And it's so easy to get off track on that stuff because, Men's Bible studies - say you're a guy in your retirement. Men's Bible studies are at 6:00 AM in the morning. How are you gonna have quiet time before 6:00 AM? Maybe, great. That's a terrible time of the day to have a Bible study. You know, guys, go golfing early cuz it gets hot outside. I mean we, you do have to plan your time with God.

All right, so we're all gonna be busy in retirement and here's how I know that: all of my retired friends are busier now than ever. They're like, I can't imagine ever had time how I ever had time to work. What is the next question they should be asking?

Bruce: Well, the next question is how am I gonna prioritize my activities? So how am I gonna prioritize that time with God? How am I gonna prioritize that time with my spouse, my kids, my friends, whatever it may be that as I review that priority? I'm only gonna play golf once a week rather than four times a week?

I'm gonna join a men's group that plays, you know, 4:30 in the afternoon so the sun's going down rather than at six o'clock in the morning when the sun's coming up. Anyway, priority that's, that's, that's the second question. And then the next question I'll lead it on for you, okay, is, is what about leisure?

Where is that gonna fit into? It doesn't mean that it, it doesn't exist. It just isn't an answer for, you know, 14 hours a day. So where is leisure gonna fit in?

Jim: So you're saying retirement isn't all about leisure. But leisure should be part of your retirement.

Bruce: Absolutely. Absolutely. No question about it. .Judy and I are headed for Norway in a couple of weeks for a wonderful time of leisure and all kinds of good reasons for it. So leisure plays a role. It has value, it does not have meaning.

Jim: Ah. But it can have meaning. You can find meaning in your leisure, like on your way to your cruise with Judy you're gonna stop and see friends in Holland, or more in the Netherlands, depending on which way you call it. I mean, so you - there's priorities and there's purpose in it because you're spending time investing in a relationship with your wife, who will be one of your very good friends in heaven one day.

All right, so the first three questions. How will you handle your time? How will you prioritize your activities? And how about leisure? When we come back in the third segment, we're gonna finish the last five questions on dealing with flexibility in our retirement - questions we need to ask ahead of time, have a plan so that we can be flexible off of that existing plan.

You're listening to iRetire4Him the mouthpiece for the Retirement Reformation. Wait til you see and hear who our special guest will be during our second segment. Stay tuned.

Break: Membership has its privileges and with the Retirement Reformation, it's true. We have three levels of membership to access our growing wealth of resources.

We also provide discipleship and training to bring the Retirement Reformation alive in your life. So join us. Go to Retirement Reformation.org and click on the membership tab. Choose the level of membership that will help you rethink, retool, reframe, and reform your retirement today. The basic level is free, so you can get started today.

Take the journey from retirement to reformation so you can say, iRetire4Him. Retirement Reformation.org. Let's get back to more iRetire4Him.

Jim: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him, the Mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation. You know, Bruce, every second segment of every show, we've always invited on a special guest.

We've had amazing guests, tons and dozens and dozens of guests who have shared the story of, of what God is doing in their lives in retirement. Bruce, the last four or five months of your life haven't been probably according to plan as you and I know, we've been friends for a number of years. We first met in 2017. You, you told me I'm gonna be 104, but about five months ago something happened that caused you to have to be a little flexible. What's going on in your life? How's, what's, what's going on in your life right now?

Bruce: What's going on in my life right now is, is I have four more days of radiation treatment for prostate cancer. And as I've shared with you, I really believe that God had told me that, that, that my planning horizon is gonna be 104 years. Then I have an mri. I go to the urologist office, he walks in. He said, Bruce, you've got prostate cancer. I'm sure it's metastasized, and you've got maximum of two to five years. We'll make it as good as we can.

The first thing I thought that came into my mind was, Whoa, whoa, time out. I got somebody who knows better than you do that it's 104, but you're telling me I got prostate cancer and it's two to five years. Oh my goodness. And so the dynamic tension that was there for the next 10 days As we did some additional tests, and so sitting down with Judy and, and going through the, you know, going through the emotions that come with these kinds of conversations, regardless of your faith those changes in plans and, and surprises our are difficult.

And so as Judy and I talked and said, Well, what, what are we gonna do? I said, Well, we've got about 10 days before we're gonna find out the answer on whether the cancer is metastasized or not. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna pray, We're gonna ask God for clarity. We're gonna pray for wisdom, and we're gonna pray that miracle, that in fact, the surety that the doctors had, that it has metastasized, which would lead to that death sentence of 2-5 years.

Jim: And let's just explain for those people who don't know what that word means, it means that it's spread to other organs or other places in your body. It's prostate cancer that's not just on the prostate. Just wanna make sure not everybody knows what that word is. It's a big word. I can't spell it either.

Bruce: So that is spread to the rest of the body, so, So let's had all these tests to find out the answer to the question, had it spread or not? Now here's the background to it. I'd had an MRI a year ago. That MRI showed that it was stage three, which means that that's, if it's stage four, that's pretty much the end.

So it was stage three and, and, and the doctors had not looked at that MRI or evaluated it. So a whole year had gone by before. It was the first opportunity to determine or to find out that I had prostate cancer and that it was stage three. When in fact they woke up and went back and looked at that. That was the reason.

They just assumed that if it was stage three a years, a year ago, it's gonna be stage four today. So that was the medical and the reasonable kind of expectation. So our prayer was either that, you know, God and his angels would run around my body and grab all those little pieces of cancer and stuff 'em back into the prostate.

Or in fact, it miraculously had never metastasized or had not spread. And so we had 10 days there. It was, That was hard. That was hard. And the implications of one's...

Jim: well, let's, let's just stop there for a second. 10 days. We'll get the answer in 10 days. We gotta wait for the test results. What kind of emotions we're going through your mind?

Bruce: Oh my goodness gracious. The whole range of emotions.

Jim: Well describe em for us.

Bruce: Yeah, I will. Sure. Fear. Concern for Judy. Her concern for us questioning and wondering is the, is what I heard from the Holy Spirit, did I really hear that? Or is that just something I wanted to hear? And so all the human questions,

Jim: What about Judy there? What about Judy? Because she's your best friend, You've known each other 60 years. What kind of, what kind of emotions did she express? Cuz this was, you know, you're, you've been her Superman all along.

Bruce: Yeah, I think it's, I think it's encapsulated in one comment that she made. She says, you know, if you die, I'm gonna move into a group home.

In other words, not stay in the house that we're in now. And I thought, Wow. Oh, Huh. And, and so the, the concern that she had, the fear that she had and when something dramatic is happening to you, it's really not so much you, it, it was, If that was the answer, I was fine. I didn't think it was gonna be the answer because I was pretty clear what I thought I had heard God say.

And I had no idea how that was all gonna get worked out, . And so I just thought to myself, you know, wow, here's just another step of faith because I don't know.

Jim: Right? So those 10 days passed. What did the doctors say?

Bruce: So I took all the tests that they had me take, and you're in these machines and on and on. So I, I, Judy and I are in his office. And now this is the same guy that I just walked in and said, You know, you got two to five, you got cancer and you know, essentially you're gonna die. He walks in and he, this time he sits down, which I thought was a good step.

Jim: Does that one, he freak you out to me? That would freak you out.

Bruce: Yeah. He sits down and, and I, I wasn't sure whether it was sit down to give me the affirming news that in fact, yes he was right or the miraculous news that he was wrong. And it turned out to be the miraculous news that he was wrong and that in fact that miracle was there. I got all choked up like I am right now, and Judy was crying and then we started to laugh. It was the reflection of joy.

Jim: That miracle being that it was still stage three or that it was only stage two?. What was the miracle?

Bruce: No, that it was stage three. That it had not, it had not spread. And he said, I, I, I can't explain to you why that would be true.

Jim: And you said, hmm, maybe I can explain, Doc. Let me sit down and talk to you about this man that I know named Jesus.

Bruce: And I, I did say to him, I said, Well, I said, I think what you're delivering is God's answer to our prayer. And he could have answered it in a totally different way, and that would've been fine, but he chose not to. And so as I tell audiences, and now I had to plan it for myself that if you're here, God's still got a plan for you and he is not done with you yet. That was the, that was the message that was going through my mind.

Jim: So flexibility, as we've talked about flexibility. In retirement, you face cancer where I know six months ago that hadn't even crossed your mind.

Bruce: No, I've never been in the hospital. I've never had a broken bone. Never been sick. So I had to wait till 81 to get that or have that.

Jim: What's the one thing that you believe you will change because of this diagnosis and these treatments you've been going through for months now? What's the one thing you think will change? And then we'll get back to our conversation on flexibility questions.

Bruce: One word. Urgency.

Jim: Okay. We're talking about the prostate. So a lot of guys on the listen to the show are going, Really? No, but that's not what you mean. Bruce.

Bruce: What I mean is the urgency that what God has planned forming in the, in the years to come, to address those issues or to take those actions with a, with an increased, With a higher urgency with, instead of saying, Well, yeah, I guess I could do that tomorrow.

No, do it today. When I'm with someone who is not a Christ follower and I say, Well, maybe I ought to have two more breakfast with them before I suggest that we have a spiritual conversation. Urgency. Let's have that conversation today. When I'm mentoring or counseling with people, the ability to be, the willingness to be transparent, that's part of urgency and the willingness to be direct and not to sugarcoat something in such a way that, that the people or group that is hearing the message can misinterpret it or think that it's not what it is that I, that I'm talking about. And so I've never been indirect , but, but now there's an urgency to be wise, transparent, and direct.

Jim: Bruce, I can't wait as we continue these podcasts through the years, for us to follow up on this conversation as God has been working in your life and he just took, we know that God uses all of the experiences that we go through not to tear us down or destroy us, but to take us from who we are to who God can use more effectively with the mission that he's put on our lives. So I can't wait to see what is next and why he allowed this little blip in your life. Bruce, thanks for sharing transparently about your journey with cancer. We we're just grateful as an audience, we're all grateful.

Bruce: Good. Well, it certainly is, has enhanced my journey. Hopefully just hearing part of the story will enhance the the lives of some of our listeners also.

Jim: You're listening iRetire4Him. We'll come right back with the rest of the questions we need to ask about being flexible in retirement.

Break: You're listenngi to iRetire4Him, The Mouthpiece of Retirement Reformation. Every iRetire4Him show goes so quickly. We don't often get to remind you that there are two resources you should be checking out right now. I recommend that you get a copy of the Retirement Reformation book and the iRetire4Him book.

Retirement Reformation focuses on the mindset and behavioral changes needed, let's just say paradigm shifting that is needed to live out your faith in retirement. iRetire4Him Is focused on many of the ways you could put your faith into action by investing your life into others in your retirement years. Get both at the Retirement Reformation website in the bookstore: RetirementReformation.org. That's RetirementReformation.org.

Jim: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him, the mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation. Please, as always, we just recommend you check us out online at RetirementReformation.org. Bruce, again, thank you for sharing your story during segment two of the show.

Let's get back to our questions on flexibility in this final section of today's. show We're gonna get personal. So what's the next more personal like, we can get a lot more personal. What's the next question? The, the questions that we should be asking?

Bruce: I think the question and, and it's, it's kind of two parts. But it starts with that planning process that we've talked about often. That there needs to be a plan. Doesn't mean that the plan that is going to evolve, but is it, is the direction for us to be able to take the next step for then God to be able to, What's the old adage? Oh God can't steer a parked car.

So let's not be parked. And these next two questions kind of fit into that non-park thought process. What is your plan and how do you organize your spiritual growth activities and your personal growth activities? So we're talking about intentionally taking steps to continue to build that foundation so that in fact, when the issues of life show up, like the ones in my life that we were talking about, you have a foundation upon which to respond and to and to be able to find what God wants you to learn as a result of those. So those would be the next two. They're both to deal with planning one, your spiritual growth and the second one, your personal growth.

Jim: But, but aren't they really the same thing? Isn't personal growth and spiritual growth the same thing?

Bruce: They are, They certainly play off each other and are integrated. But I do think they are a little bit different. In the spiritual growth I'm, I'm really asking the question about how is my relationship with God gonna impact my relationship with others? On the personal growth is what is it that I have to learn? And the learning can be the, the learning can be how to be a better speaker.

The learning can be how, how to be a better writer. How I, how to be a better mentor, how to be a better you pick, right? And so on and so on. It's how to be a better in the spiritual journey. It's, it's how my relationship with God and his wisdom to impact my relationships.

Jim: Those are great questions. So what is the, what is your plan and how will you organize your spiritual growth activities? What is your plan and how will you organize your personal growth activities? All right. What's a great question we need to ask is we talk about flexibility. One of the things we don't know about in our retirement years is our health. What's a great question to ask?

Bruce: Yeah, I think just a question. How am I gonna stay in shape?

Jim: Well, I'm a shape. Roundy is a shape. Isn't round a shape?

Bruce: Round is a shape. Yes.

Jim: We've gotta look at our heads. We got the same shaped heads: round.

Bruce: But how am I gonna stay in shape? That's really critical. I'll give you a personal one right now. Playing off in the interview we just had is that part of the, part of the treatment for the cancer is what they call hormone treatment.

What that means is that they take your testosterone down to zero. When they take your testosterone down to zero, all your muscles atrophy. And so when in that context, being in going to the gym when you're tired and you don't wanna go, to be able to maintain that degree of, of shapeness is is absolutely critical.

 There are so many friends that we all have that, you know, they spend 90% of their time either at the feeding trough or the TV trough. And they're just going to heck in a hand basket. And so if you're going to be prepared to respond to God's call in your life, you gotta be prepared financially, but you also need to be prepared physically.

Jim: All right, so let's talk about our families. Our families are always growing cuz we have kids and they have kids, and those kids have kids. But in today's world, our families are growing and moving all over. How do we consider them into our retirement?

Bruce: You've got two issues there. Number one, where are they on your important scale? But then number two, I think the question is, where do they fit into your schedule? How are you going to do that? So I'll give you an example. After my dad died and my brother died it was a major transition in my mom's life. She had been a caregiver for the prior five years. Two people that were very close to her, obviously her husband and her son both died now.

She was at a point of transition and I thought to myself, Hmm, she lived in Phoenix, we lived in California. I said, What can I do to support her at that distance that will fit into my schedule? And I, and, and, and the Holy Spirit gave the answer, said, Well, you could call her every day. So, Well, I, I really, I got a really busy schedule, man. I don't know if I can, Well, let me think about that. And for 15 years, every day that I was in the country, we spoke.

Jim: Wow, that's precious. So the question is, where do you, Where does family fit into your schedule? You know, Bruce, the final question. Retirement can be a time of life filled with wonder, but it could also be filled with loneliness and depression. I've seen that, cause I've lived in Florida for 20 years and I see a lot of people struggling with that. What question do we ask to make sure that we avoid the negative, Avoid the loneliness? Avoid the depression?

Bruce: As we've talked often the, the typical response of it's way too many people is that, you know, what are you gonna do in retirement? The answer is nothing. Nothing, that we are focused totally on ourselves. That's what nothing means. Then the question becomes, what is the antidote to nothing? And the antidote to nothing is finding meaning, meaning and purpose. And the way you find meaning and purpose is turned from inward.

From inward to outward. And so where will you find meaning and purpose? Where will you turn outward? Where will you allow yourself to be used and where will you respond to God's call on where you are to be used? So where will you find meaning and purpose? Right in the midst of all of the other questions is the final one to reflect on and will give you the the north star of your life.

Jim: All right, to review our eight questions of today, really flexibility kind of questions as you prep for retirement. How will you handle your time? How will you prioritize your activities? How about leisure and where does that fit into your plan? What is your plan and how will you organize your spiritual growth activities? What is your plan and how will you organize your personal growth activities? How will you stay in shape? Where does your family fit into your schedule, and where will you find meaning and purpose?

Bruce, what a great conversation. What a great series, What a great way for us to be prepping for retirement. Thank you for just leading us down this path and, and giving us a just a bunch of great conversation about questions we should ask and be prepping for in retirement.

Bruce: Well, I look forward to our next series. And as we will continue to examine the answers to some of these questions and others, it would be my prayer and hope that, that for our listeners, if you haven't listened to all three of these podcasts in the series, that you'll go back and do that.

That you'll have your pad and pencil with you. You'll take down the, the questions and the choices and the issues, and you use that as a, a guide to begin to take you to that meaning and purpose. And be able to avoid the loneliness and the depression and everything else that comes along with that.

Jim: You've been listening to iRetire4Him, the Mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation, Online RetirementReformation.org. I'm your host, Jim Brangenberg. Of course, we've had Bruce Bruinsma with us today, the founder of The Retirement Reformation. We're both Christ followers journeying from just that idea of just everyday retirement to the retirement reformation so we can ultimately say iRetire4Him!

Outro: Thanks for listening to iRetire4Him with your host, Jim and Martha Brangenberg and Retirement Reformation founder Bruce Bruinsma. iRetire4Him is the mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation. Christians tend to follow the world's pattern of rest and self pampering during retirement. However, in your retirement, you can be focused on God's unique call to love, serve, and help others.

This can be your best season of life if you take advantage of a life's worth of knowledge and experience and combine it with a greater freedom of time and money. And invested all in the generations, both preceding and following you. The Retirement Reformation is encouraging Christians to find and follow God's call in all seasons and aspects of life, especially in retirement.

Take time to sign the manifesto at retirementreformation.org. And explore the wealth of resources available on our site. Join this movement of God and Journey from retirement to Reformation so you can say iRetire4Him. Go to Retirement Reformation.org.